The Spice of Life

I know it has been pretty silent on here for a week or so and I do have several fun posts that I need to get done but this just wasn't the week for that. On Tuesday the 22nd we were forced to reflect on that one year mark of my grandfather's death. That's always a hard day for anyone who has lost a loved one.

I can't believe it's been a whole year. And I also can't believe that in 1 year's time the grief and sadness haven't really let up. A year seems like such a long time to me but I still can't think about Granddaddy too much without the tears just rolling down my face.

I have also learned that it just doesn't matter how long or short a life is, you are never ready to say good-bye. My Granddaddy lived a really full, long life but that makes it no less sad that he is gone. I miss him every day.

On Monday the 21st Granddaddy's little brother, 91 year old Buck St. John, died. My Uncle Buck. Always loved that I had an "Uncle Buck." Just sounds fun. And he was fun! The kindest, happiest man you ever knew. He was the last of the 4 siblings (Granddaddy was number 3), all of whom lived into their 90's. Pretty remarkable.

When I heard Buck had died, I thought back to a year ago. On February 21st of last year I remember walking into the ICU at the hospital and in the corner room sat two old men. One propped up on pillows in the bed and the other sitting in a chair pulled so close to the bed there was hardly any room for his knees. Buck had come to see his brother, my Granddaddy, while he was in the hospital. Neither one could hear worth a flip so their heads were so close together they were almost touching. And as I stood looking through the glass I could hear them talking and laughing and I enjoyed witnessing the obvious joy between two brothers who had lived as brothers for a very long time.

We didn't know my grandfather was so sick or that he would die the next morning. And we sure couldn't know that 1 year from that day they sat so close talking about life that Granddaddy and Uncle Buck would be together again yet separated from us. I know Buck was heart broken when Granddaddy died and it makes me smile to think that they are reunited but for those of us left behind it has been sad watching one generation slowly take their leave. It's part of life, I know, but it's sad to watch. I miss them both.

In the last several years since we have lived close to both Granddaddy and Uncle Buck, I had the opportunity to meet up with them over lunch several times. One of my favorite memories is Granddaddy taking Grant to lunch to meet his Great, Great Uncle Buck. Love that they got to know my son before they died.


Uncle Buck on the left, his wife Lillian, Mimi and Grant, my Granddaddy

And to my Great Aunt Lillian and to my Mimi who were both married 67 years to these brothers, you ladies are the model by which the next generations will learn to handle grief with amazing grace. Thank you for teaching us how to love and grieve and go on living. You are remarkable.

And for me, so I'll have a record and remember....


Edward Marsh "Buck" St. John
September 4, 1919 - February 21, 2011

St.John, Edward Marsh (Buck) Age 91, of Richardson, TX died February 21, 2011 after a brief illness. He was born in Detroit, Michigan on September 4, 1919, the fourth child of Herbert Lincoln and Margaret Hornbrook St. John. The family moved to Texas when he was an infant. He graduated from Temple High School and Texas A&I College, Kingsville with a degree in Natural Gas Engineering. He was drafted into the Army in 1941 as a private, worked his way up to Captain in the 28th Infantry Division and was awarded the Bronze Star. He had a 44 year career with Lone Star Gas throughout North Texas, retiring as a Vice President in 1984. Buck was an active volunteer throughout his life, serving on the school board in Sherman, President of Rotary Clubs, Chairman of United Way Campaigns, a volunteer at Richardson Network, and numerous other organizations. Buck was also a Deacon and Elder in the Presbyterian Church and long-time member and teacher of the two-year-old Sunday School at Canyon Creek Presbyterian Church. Buck was an avid sportsman, both fan and participant, with a special love of golf. The sweetest and dearest husband, father, grandfather and great-grandfather in this world, Buck is survived by his loving wife, Lillian, of 67 years, his daughter Peggy Buccy, son Edward and wife Sue, daughter Susan Ord and husband Ken, six grandchildren, nine great-grandchildren, sister-in- law Hilda Gene St.John, brother-in-law Joe Lane and many nieces and nephews. He was preceded in death by his parents, and his siblings Dick, Frances and Hal. Visitation will be at Restland on Thursday, February 24, from 6-8 PM, with private burial on Friday, followed by a memorial service at 1:30 PM at Canyon Creek Presbyterian Church, 3901 North Star Road, Richardson, TX 75082. In lieu of flowers, the family asks for gifts of time or a donation to the charity of your choice.