Last year, on Grant's 1st birthday, we didn't want to look back or reflect on 10/16/08. We were grateful for Grant and so happy to celebrate him but we were still too overcome with the difficulties, fear, and trauma that Grant's particular birth story holds.
But another year of wrestling it all out with our very patient God and the veil was finally lifted. We can see only the incredible miracle and orchestration of events that had to go just right in order to get me and Grant through it all in one, healthy piece. How did I miss it? How did I wallow in all that self-pity for so long? God has been patient and oh so very faithful.
All babies are gifts and total miracles from God but it took some extra effort on Grant's birth day two years ago and it really took some extra effort to get me through it and healthy on the other side. I am so grateful to be here. I am so grateful to know my son and take part in raising him. I am so grateful that even though he was only a piddly 4lbs. 9oz. that Grant was perfectly healthy.
The depression and self-pity have been replaced with inexpressible, humble gratitude to a God who had us in the palm of His hand the whole time, protecting us, and who provided for our every need...even if we couldn't see it at the time. I have no doubt that a hedge of protection was hovering over us during those weeks surrounding Grant's arrival and holding back some truly devastating events that did not come to pass.
I write this mostly so I will remember some day how we felt on this 2nd birthday of our firstborn. But also to encourage anyone reading that God is faithful even in the times we can't see His work.
And now for the part you really want to see....PICTURES! It was a great day! Thanks to our family for making it so special.
And I know I am not in ANY of these pictures except for the last one but I promise I was there and even spent some time in the bounce house with the birthday boy! :) Good times.
3 comments:
So glad time has brought you peace and clarity. Love all the pics!
I remember one year after Hudson and John Caleb were born, someone asking me if I felt better a year later. I said NO. A year isn't that long people. But 4 years later, I can see God's hand in it all and I look forward to the lessons God will continue to reveal to me. Thanks for sharing what you went through! It's encouraging.
Glad everything went well. He is SO CUTE in the crib photo! So big!
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